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⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️

Hastings High Plains Dispensary

⚠️ This dispensary does not exist.

From the birthplace of Kool-Aid to the imaginary birthplace of Nebraska's cannabis industry. Hastings dreams big.

44 Kool-Aid Dream Blvd, Hastings, NE 68901
402-555-0901 (not a real number)
Mon-Sat 9am-8pm, Sun 12pm-6pm (imaginary hours)

Products at This Fake Store

Hastings High Plains Hash Burger Live Resin
Concentrate / Live Resin
THC 70.0%
$66.00 / 1g
Hash Burger live resin from the high plains above the Platte. Layered, bold, ...
by Hastings High Plains Extracts
Loup River GMO Shatter
Concentrate / Shatter
THC 78.0%
$56.00 / 1g
GMO Cookies shatter from the Loup River loop. Garlic-heavy, pungent, and loop...
by Loup River Labs
Hastings High Plains Tropicana Cookies Wax
Concentrate / Wax
THC 72.0%
$48.00 / 1g
Tropicana Cookies wax from the high plains citrus lab of imagination. Orange-...
by Hastings High Plains Extracts
Loup River Oatmeal Cookies
Edibles / Baked Good
THC 18.0%
$21.00 / 2pk cookies
Thick oatmeal cookies from the Loup River's most imaginary bakery. Looping wi...
by Loup River Baked Goods
Loup River Blueberry Muffin
Edibles / Baked Good
THC 16.0%
$20.00 / 1 muffin
Blueberry muffin from Loup River's fictional bakehouse. Baked with care, infu...
by Loup River Baked Goods
Great Plains Wellness Plains Lotion
Topicals / Lotion
THC 7.0%
$38.00 / 1 oz lotion
Wide-coverage lotion for the wide Nebraska plain. Fictional CBD, real Midwest...
by Great Plains Wellness Rubs
Loup River Loop Relief Rub
Topicals / Salve
THC 10.0%
$44.00 / 1 oz salve
Looping relief from the Loup River's fictional wellness lab. For every bend i...
by Loup River Liniments
Great Plains Wellness Deep Muscle Rub
Topicals / Salve
THC 9.0%
$42.00 / 1 oz salve
Deep muscle rub as powerful as the Great Plains wind. Fictional cannabis, rea...
by Great Plains Wellness Rubs

Satire Ends Here

While the rest of this site is a joke, cannabis prohibition is not funny. Opiates and hard drugs are devastating communities. Cannabis is not the enemy. Here's how to take real action in Nebraska:

Advocacy Organizations

The nation's largest cannabis advocacy organization, working to reform marijuana laws since 1970.
The largest organization working to end marijuana prohibition in the US.

Contact Your US Senators

Federal legalization requires federal action. Tell your senators where you stand.

For state legislators, visit openstates.org — enter your address to find your representatives.
⚠️ TOTALLY FAKE WEBSITE — This is political satire. No cannabis is sold here. Cannabis is not legal in this state. ⚠️